My son has been attending his school since August. He attends a PreK 4 Montessori program at our local elementary school and while I haven't been overly impressed at the population of students there, I haven't had reason to be upset with the school. Until today.
A fellow mom and I began talking about the Montessori program today (our children are in the same grade; different classes who work together closely). She stated the children were not allowed to speak to each other at all during lunch, and were spaced apart while eating. Additionally, her daughter has repeatedly told her that instead of playing at recess, she is constantly being made to walk laps around the playground as punishment for talking, jumping out of line or not sitting still.
Preschoolers and kindergartners, walking laps instead of burning energy by running around during recess, for being THEIR AGE. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure there are more effective ways to "punish" a four or five year old who has been excessively talking. Like pulling them from the activity going on in the class and putting them in a corner or time out. Or having a chart where they get a frowny face sticker for the day, activity, class etc. Additionally, part of the reason why a child that age excessively talks or fidgets is because they have EXCESS ENERGY. Taking their one outlet away from them and making them walk laps seems like it would contribute to the problem....not alleviate it!
These four and five year old children are getting in trouble for acting their age. Then, they are made to wait for their punishment (if their offense occurs after recess, they walk laps the following day). I'm all for schools helping shape our children into responsible young people who know right from wrong, but I don't believe making them walk laps is the way to do it!
As to lunch, I understand having a small period of time at the beginning of lunch in which the children are to eat, not speak to each other. However, requiring these small children to sit spaced apart, like robots and eat their food without socializing seems cruel. School isn't just for learning writing and figuering; its also an important part of the socialization process! People are expected to be able to eat meals and carry on intelligent, interesting conversations. This begins in childhood! Children must learn how to eat, talk, and mind their manners at once. Twenty-five minutes of forced silence filled with eating is not fulfilling that socialization process.
Lastly, I'm upset that I didn't know about any of this. Yes, I talk to my son about his school day. He obviously doesn't think there is anything wrong with the processes at school, because he hasn't complained about them. When I spoke to him about it today, he stated that yes, in the past he has walked laps during recess as punishment. Perhaps he sees it as fair, or perhaps he wasn't bothered by it as it hasn't happened much. However, my friends daughter is walking almost everyday (for talking). If the school is going to have a punishment process, it should be stated; if a child is constantly being punished under those guidelines, the parents should be notified! Neither has happened. I wonder how many parents don't know their children are being punished with laps, and being forced to eat like some strict, 1800's English boarding school!
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
On Being Pregnant and Bathing Suit Shopping
I have been on bed rest since January 30th due to risk of preterm labor and I'm not going to lie; its been NICE! I've got to see what being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) is all about and I've enjoyed it. However, whether its from the pregnancy, or the pregnancy combined with a lot of sitting and laying due to bed rest, I've been having sciatic nerve pain. I complained to my doctor, he recommended Extra Strength Tylenol (which doesn't do shit) and icing/heating. Well, its not working. So the last time I saw him I complained again and he recommended swimming.
Swimming. While pregnant. Which means my lack of exercise thighs will be exposed. Now, I'm not a naturally thin girl. I'm a naturally athletic girl with lots of ass and thigh muscle tone. Now imagine that muscle tone after 11 weeks of no exercise. Yea...not pretty. So, here is my OB recommending swimming, and all I can think about is how fat my ass and thighs will look in a swim suit!
And that's the dilemma. Do I try out swimming to see if it relieves my nerve pain, but means I have to cram myself into a swim suit? Or do I say screw it, keep popping the Tylenol, going through ice like a penguin lives here and burning through heating pads because I use them so often? My answer the last few weeks was the latter. Just keep throwing Tylenol and ice my way!
However, my best friend has a pool, loves my kid (who happens to be her former stepchild-long story for another blog) and is willing to drive the 20 minutes to pick me up so I can get some therapeutically recommended swim time at her house. So what did that mean for yesterday? I went bathing suit shopping. At 31 weeks pregnant, after 11weeks of no exercise.
IT. WAS. HORRIBLE. Seriously scarring and damning. I wanted to cry and rage at AAFES for having fluorescent lights in their changing rooms, I wanted to sue them for the emotional damage of having to see myself under fluorescent lighting while pregnant. Oh, and they didn't have maternity suits. Now I could have gone somewhere else, yes. But I'm on bed rest and really shouldn't be out at all, so I figured right down the road from a hospital was a good place to shop!
But back to the torture. I brought ELEVEN bathing suits in with me the first time around. Varying from size Large, X Large, 12, 14, and 16. The large I didn't even bother pulling past my hips. The extra larges fit my belly, and were falling off my upper body. Size 12? Again, didn't bother pulling up over my butt. The 14 was a lovely one piece red swim suit that showed off every flaw in my skin from my boobs to my butt; that one got taken off quick! Tops too big, belly too big to fit into the stomach area, one gave me camel toe. They were all horrible and I had tears in my eyes.
When I walked out of the changing room, the lady working there took one look at me, my belly, and the bathing suits and said "nothing fit?" Obviously, my face was that obvious. It was red, I was hot and sweaty and hungry and for the first time, pissed off I was pregnant! But, this kind, brave sales lady suggested I look at the "plus size" swim suits. Now, my first reaction was "I'm going to hit this bitch" But she quickly explained that this week alone, she has directed no less than four other pregnant women to the plus size suits and they all ended up buying from there.
And that's how I ended up with size 18 to 22 suits in my hand. I'm proud to say I got an 18. I'm not proud to say when I got home I cried. I've loved my body during this pregnancy and have been proud that I've maintained a somewhat smaller belly. Yesterday was the first day I felt truly unsexy as a pregnant woman. I actually cried over how my body looked; which honestly made me feel worse. Because this baby is a miracle due to the fact that I wasn't supposed to have more kids! Yesterday was truly a Catch 22 day for me!
However, no matter how much of a miracle baby this is, I still hate bathing suit shopping while pregnant. I vow to 1) never be pregnant again and 2) if my some cruel joke of God I do end up with another pregnancy someday, to NEVER going bathing suit shopping while pregnant again. Its simply too horrible.
Swimming. While pregnant. Which means my lack of exercise thighs will be exposed. Now, I'm not a naturally thin girl. I'm a naturally athletic girl with lots of ass and thigh muscle tone. Now imagine that muscle tone after 11 weeks of no exercise. Yea...not pretty. So, here is my OB recommending swimming, and all I can think about is how fat my ass and thighs will look in a swim suit!
And that's the dilemma. Do I try out swimming to see if it relieves my nerve pain, but means I have to cram myself into a swim suit? Or do I say screw it, keep popping the Tylenol, going through ice like a penguin lives here and burning through heating pads because I use them so often? My answer the last few weeks was the latter. Just keep throwing Tylenol and ice my way!
However, my best friend has a pool, loves my kid (who happens to be her former stepchild-long story for another blog) and is willing to drive the 20 minutes to pick me up so I can get some therapeutically recommended swim time at her house. So what did that mean for yesterday? I went bathing suit shopping. At 31 weeks pregnant, after 11weeks of no exercise.
IT. WAS. HORRIBLE. Seriously scarring and damning. I wanted to cry and rage at AAFES for having fluorescent lights in their changing rooms, I wanted to sue them for the emotional damage of having to see myself under fluorescent lighting while pregnant. Oh, and they didn't have maternity suits. Now I could have gone somewhere else, yes. But I'm on bed rest and really shouldn't be out at all, so I figured right down the road from a hospital was a good place to shop!
But back to the torture. I brought ELEVEN bathing suits in with me the first time around. Varying from size Large, X Large, 12, 14, and 16. The large I didn't even bother pulling past my hips. The extra larges fit my belly, and were falling off my upper body. Size 12? Again, didn't bother pulling up over my butt. The 14 was a lovely one piece red swim suit that showed off every flaw in my skin from my boobs to my butt; that one got taken off quick! Tops too big, belly too big to fit into the stomach area, one gave me camel toe. They were all horrible and I had tears in my eyes.
When I walked out of the changing room, the lady working there took one look at me, my belly, and the bathing suits and said "nothing fit?" Obviously, my face was that obvious. It was red, I was hot and sweaty and hungry and for the first time, pissed off I was pregnant! But, this kind, brave sales lady suggested I look at the "plus size" swim suits. Now, my first reaction was "I'm going to hit this bitch" But she quickly explained that this week alone, she has directed no less than four other pregnant women to the plus size suits and they all ended up buying from there.
And that's how I ended up with size 18 to 22 suits in my hand. I'm proud to say I got an 18. I'm not proud to say when I got home I cried. I've loved my body during this pregnancy and have been proud that I've maintained a somewhat smaller belly. Yesterday was the first day I felt truly unsexy as a pregnant woman. I actually cried over how my body looked; which honestly made me feel worse. Because this baby is a miracle due to the fact that I wasn't supposed to have more kids! Yesterday was truly a Catch 22 day for me!
However, no matter how much of a miracle baby this is, I still hate bathing suit shopping while pregnant. I vow to 1) never be pregnant again and 2) if my some cruel joke of God I do end up with another pregnancy someday, to NEVER going bathing suit shopping while pregnant again. Its simply too horrible.
Yes I'm Pregnant, and Unmarried, and I Don't Care if You Judge Me for it!
Yes, I'm pregnant and unmarried! This is 2012 and women are choosing to adopt, get pregnant through artificial insemination and traditional means all the time, without having a spouse or partner involved! Was this MY active choice? No, it wasn't. But I'm a 27 year old single mother, recently divorced, and expecting a baby. And guess what? I really don't care what anyone thinks about that.
Did I, at first? Yes, I did. I was SHOCKED when I found out I was pregnant. In July 2011, I was told that due to the amount of cervical cells taken from my cervix in March 2010, I would most likely not be able to conceive again, especially when paired with my poly cystic ovarian syndrome. And, I was also on birth control. Granted, it was the pill; which probably is only one step above condoms in terms of success rate. But, I was taking the pill, and I had been told I couldn't conceive again.
While I cried after being told I wouldn't be able to conceive again, I wasn't devastated. First, I was going through a separation. Second, I was a young Army officer starting out my career, with the possibility of children being added to that career a dim possibility. And lastly, my son was almost five years old. Anyone with any time difference between their children know that the older your first one gets, the harder it is to imagine adding a second one to the mix. When your only child wakes up on a Saturday morning, gets himself breakfast and turns on cartoons....well, you get to sleep in until 9 or 10 a.m. and its WONDERFUL.
So I had resigned myself to not having more children...."One and Done!" However, on October 17th I realized I had missed a period; an unusual event for me since starting the pill. I took the test on a whim and it was positive. Again, I cried (going through a divorce, single mom, newish career.....it was natural to cry). And I was embarrassed. How had this happened? Besides the obvious of course...but how had it happened? I was on birth control, I couldn't have more children! I had emotionally and mentally come to terms with the fact that my baby days were over! And to top it all off, I knew I would be doing it without the father involved.
Ahhhh yes. The father. The question that all my friends and family are dying to know. And they will keep dying to know. How and who this baby was conceived by is nobodies business except mine. There will not be a father's name listed on this babies birth certificate. There will be no text messages, emails, Facebook PM's or phone calls informing a man that he has now become a father. I am utterly and truly alone in this and I'm OK with that. Even if some of the above friends and family aren't. Because this is 2012, accidents happen and women are raising babies all the time by themselves.
So yes, I was shocked. I cried. I was even embarrassed for the first few months and wondered how I was going to tell people. Then I realized however, I didn't have to. I am a grown woman with a career, income, a child, a home. I can add a baby to my family and not have to answer to anyone for it. So now I approach a second round of motherhood, again, alone, and accepting. I'm happy and I don't care what anyone thinks about the lack of ring on my finger or fathers name on the birth certificate.
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